On Caring Too Much

I care too much about people. That’s one painful lesson I’ve had to learn. Maybe from books and movies, I’ve learned that if you care about one best friend more than anything, and that you’re willing to do anything for them, that they’ll feel the same about you. So as a result, I’ve taken to caring deeply and wholly for my closest friends. Why in the world would that go wrong?

The answer is sad, but simple. The more you care about someone, the easier it is for them to take you for granted. Some people aren’t like that, but it’s a natural instinct to want what you don’t have more than what you already have. In that way, being a little colder and more removed makes friends more apt to stick by your side- to want your attention.

It’s human nature, yes, but what a sad lesson to learn for people like me who like to care with their entire hearts. Add that to being a naturally sensitive person, and one who cares the most openly also gets hurt the easiest as well. 

On Sensitivity (and some tips for turning it around)

 

I’ll be the first to admit that by nature, I’m sensitive. I’m extremely sensitive. I’m very liable to over-think simple statements that people say to me. In general opinion, this is considered quite a negative thing for a person to be. That makes sense- who would want a friend to whom talking to was like tiptoeing on eggshells? However, over the years I’ve found ways to both limit the effects of my sensitivity and also to attempt using it in a positive way.

One way I’ve found to limit my initial inclination to over-think such statements is by imagining those same statements said instead by me, to another person. This helps me gauge exactly if the statement was intended to hurt me, or was just another innocuous statement that I’d looked too deeply into. It’s most often the latter. If you do the same, sometimes you’ll find that doing so makes things much easier to laugh off rather than stew over!

A way that I’m able to use my sensitivity in a positive way is by using it to monitor my own speech. When evaluating what I’m about to say to a person, I tend to take in account every little detail I know about their personality to judge if a statement will strike in a good way or a bad way. This helps prevent misunderstanding, especially in group situations and/or decisions, and lets you function well as a ‘compromiser’. 🙂

Part of learning how to control sensitivity comes from being able to recognize said attributes in the first place. No one is perfect, and everyone has their own flaws. Accepting your sensitivity is the first step toward knowing how to control it- which not only makes you a more pleasant person to be around, but also leads to you being a happier person overall.

So in conclusion, being sensitive is not always a negative thing. Good news for us sensitive people! It’s definitely something that’s controllable and can also lead to better person-to-person relationships.

(P.S- I’m not totally sure what that picture has to do with this post, I just thought it was amusing)